I've been having these fantasies lately of life as a teenager, now this is strange for me, not because I don't have them, but it's the wrong time of year for it, usually this happens between late Spring to early Autumn. I think it's got something to do with that weather and time frame being so defining to my central character, carrying over to who and what I am now that always evokes such fantastic situations in my head. I do have a theory, my misery with my job, general dissatisfaction with my life and fatherhood all combined are quite heavy loads to bear, especially at the same time. Now it may sound as though I'm just bitching, but this is hard, I can't explain this to people at work properly because they just don't seem to understand anything serious, and there's only so much I can burden Renee with, so I end up retreating to these memories of my life as a teenager and fantasizing about life in general. I can't focus on things properly, I feel crushed, like life is just pouring through me. I don't know exactly what's wrong with me, I have a fair idea, just not detailed enough. Oh well.